In several different instances in my reading lately I have come upon the concept of the false self as presented by Trappist Monk Thomas Merton. If you are unfamiliar with it, Merton describes the false self as follows.

Every one of us is shadowed by an illusory person: a false self. This is the man I want myself to be but who cannot exist, because God does not know anything about him. And to be unknown of God is altogether too much privacy.

My false and private self is the one who wants to exist outside the reach of God’s will and God’s love—outside of reality and outside of life. And such a self cannot help but be an illusion.

We are not very good at recognizing illusions, least of all the ones we cherish about ourselves—the ones we are born with and which feed the roots of sin. For most of the people in the world, there is no greater subjective reality than this false self of theirs, which cannot exist. A life devoted to the cult of this shadow is what is called a life of sin.

We all have an ego. It is how we want to view ourselves and be viewed by others. It is based on our accomplishments, our looks, our bank account. It is what we cling to for our worth. It is based on something tangible...and temporary. It comes from ourselves and not from God.

When our value and worth come from God, it is eternal. It doesn’t matter what are accomplishments are or aren’t. It doesn’t matter if there is grey hair and wrinkles or smooth skin and colored hair. It doesn’t matter what is in the bank or what is parked in the garage.

When we can shed our false self, we see it for what it is. A mask that covers our true self. When it is disposed of our authentic self will immerge that can truly receive love and more fully give love.

I am still learning. I am too caught up in an image I present to myself and to the world. It is what prevents me from risking. It is what prevents me from experimenting. It is what prevents me from fully understanding what love is.

Perhaps, the first step is not to immediately try to shed the false self, it is only recognizing that it is there.

Grace and Peace,

Pastor Tim

To learn more about Thomas Merton, here is an article from the New Yorker Magazine. https://www.newyorker.com/books/under-review/thomas-merton-the-monk-who-became-a-prophet